Droolface!

Note to self: Never put Cecelia in her "Sleepyhead" onesie after her bath. She had the hardest time falling asleep last night and was NOT a sleepyhead at all.

Also, her new thing is chewing on her fist OR chewing on anything she can grab and shove into her mouth along with her fist (blanket, bib, neck of her own shirt, etc). I am told this is normal but its still pretty entertaining. Luckily she is creating lots of drool which is what protects her from getting germs from the chewing (the doctor told me so). So she has to wear bibs a lot to catch the fountains of drool and bubbles she creates. When she sucks on her fist it makes a really loud smacking sound - it sounds like an adult smacking his lips as loud as possible and you can hear it from rooms away.

Soon enough she will be grabbing her toys more (she grabs them but not for very long) and everything will be in her mouth then I'm sure. I can't believe she is almost 11 weeks old! What a big girl :)

Immunization Clinic... dun dun duuuh..

As I have been dreading for the past two weeks, today was finally the day we got a chance to take Cecelia to the Immunization Clinic for her 2 month shots. To say I was nervous is an understatement.

I hate needles. When the anesthesiologist asked me if my epidural was as painful as I thought it would be I responded, "No, it was worse." It was pretty rude but I was about 10 hours into labor so who could blame me for losing any sense of tact. Well, that and I am a Jersey girl; we tend not to censure our true feelings.

The only thing that comforted me was the thought that maybe Cece is like her Dad. Kyle has no aversion to getting shots and never has. In fact he loves giving blood and shared with me on the way to the hospital that he likes to watch the vile fill up. I told him that he is sadistic and insane but he countered me with a statistic. "You know every time you give blood you save at least 3 lives?" That shut me up.

Admittedly though, even Kyle was a little nervous about his baby girl's first shots. His Senior Chief told him today that his 4 year old knows what the immunization clinic looks like and runs in the opposite direction when she realizes where she is. The big concern for us both was that Cecelia is loud. I have honestly never heard a baby scream the way she can. I hear other babies cry and I wait for them to get louder, hit that pitch that skips over blood curdling and goes straight to ears ringing, but it never happens.

Well anyway, we take her in to the room and Kyle holds her hands as the nurse gives her the first medicine, which is liquid. She cries. I tell her this is not even the bad part and ask her politely to please calm done. She continues to cry. The medicine is swallowed and she calms down. Then the nurse starts the shots. I am standing 3 feet away, with one foot out on the outside of the partition as if poised to run. She says "First one" and I start looking for the nearest garbage can because I am so nauseous with nerves (my child is in PAIN!). Cecelia starts to cry. In a matter of seconds the nurse says "Second one, Third one. All done you can pick her up Dad." Kyle picks her up "Shh, your okay" he tells her. And then it happened.... she was okay. She stopped crying. End of anticlimactic story. She got her father's tolerance of pain for needles. Crisis averted.

Did someone say McDonald's? Drive thru, lunch time, Dad leaves to go back to work, Cece is still sleeping in her car seat 20 minutes later annnnnnd Scene.

Mommying

So I just read an article in Parents mag where the woman mentionned she keeps a very different kind of baby book. In her explanation all I could think about was how that is a total writer's way of doing things. She said she writes down funny little moments and even terrible moments, a true record of the things she will want to remember. Afterall, you only need to be a parent for a few days to realize it is a rollercoaster, a balancing act of triumphs and defeats. It's manic, high high high highs and evil soul wrenching lows. In my imagination this woman's baby book is scraps of paper with these little moments, I'm thinking quotes on the backs of napkins and blue sparkle crayon scrawled on fast food reciepts. And, I'm thinking, this is totally my kind of book.

I used to be like that. In the peak of my love for writing somewhere between 11th grade and junior year of college my life was surrounded by scraps of paper. Remembering the little things is an amazing thing. My journal from Ireland is a great example. I re-read it the other day and little gems, like the time I walked to get my groceries in the sunshine and ending up running home in the rain to keep my bread from getting soggy, jumped from the pages. One little memory breaks the dam and the rest that would have otherwise been forgotten start to drown me. It is a peaceful welcomed drowning. This is what I want for these times in my life, I want to look back and remember.

One of the things I hear the most from other parents is that they don't think their child was "ever this small" - especially when she was first born. Now that she is 2 months I hear this less, though I still get raves about just how much hair she has. The thing is, their children WERE this small, of course they were. We don't remember things because these first couple months are a blur of sleep deprivation, late night feedings and and endless trail of dirty diapers.

There are things I want to remember. Like during one of the first weeks with her when I was breastfeeding in bed and Kyle was next to me fast asleep, Beaux was curled up at the end of the bed sleepign and Cece was drifting in and out. I looked around at my family and I was realized I'm the Mom. I'm a mother and this is my family and we're doing it together, even if I'm the only one who is awake.

Yesterday Cecelia was in her chair and Beaux was on the couch. I was in the recliner watching Gilmore Girls and I looked down and Cecelia was staring at me, then I looked and Beaux and so was he. They were just staring me down. It was the greatest, everyone wants to feel loved and I felt more loved than ever.

So before I get off here and stop writing I have to put something from today. Because I hear her stirring and she will probably be hungry any minute now. After her last feeding she fell asleep and I looked down at her and brushed her super soft hair with the back of my index finger. She opened her eyes dreamily for only a moment, then closed them and smiled. Perfection.

OH AND ONE MORE THING!!! I did my exit interview today for AFS. I am OFFICIALLY unemployed and a full time Mommy!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!